Daily quarantine thought: Missing your life

I keep thinking of this line from Spanglish. Yes, the 2004 Adam Sandler rom-com which netted only 53% on rotten tomatoes. That one. We’ve brought you Dorothy Sayers, C.S. Lewis, and now . . . Spanglish.

Bear with me.

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Mid-way through the film,Tea Leoni’s character cheats on her long-suffering husband, Adam Sandler. Up until this point she’s been pretty indifferent to him. But when she reveals her infidelity and he threatens to leave her, she falls apart. She’s crying big, body-racking sobs when her mother says,  “You know, it’s not the worst thing in the world to find out you love your husband.”

I keep thinking about how much I complain about normal life — the traffic, the busy-ness, the hustle to get both kids dressed and out the door — but going without it has made me realize how much I love it, flaws and all. It’s made me realize that I am not as much of a raging introvert as I thought. (Prepare yourselves for some awkwardly long hugs when this is all over, Nashville friends.). I miss Jackson’s teachers. I miss the Y. I miss the Publix cashiers. I miss the Contributor sales person who stands on our street.

Related: Grief is a good guide through dark times. 

By none of this do I mean that the pandemic itself is “not the worst thing in the world.”  For some, this pandemic has been the worst thing in the world. They’ve lost loved ones or financial stability. Their businesses have collapsed or they’re stuck at home with an abuser. Their situations are not only dire, they’re unequivocally tragic. … But for those of us who are privileged to be safe at home and are complaining about it, like me, here’s a silver lining.

I’m just saying that absence has made this heart a little fonder. And a little more grateful.

And that isn’t a bad thing. 

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