How to watch Love Actually without the nude scenes

Love Actually is … actually … one of my favorite Christmas movies. At some point my husband and I realized this is a film we watch every year, and all of a sudden it became tradition. But as our kids have grown into teens and stay up later at night, our margin for watching movies they can’t see gets less and less…so I wanted to make notes for myself about how to watch Love Actually without the nude scenes.

Everyone has their own boundaries and I know some might gasp at the idea of letting kids watch this movie even without the Martin Freeman/Joanna Page storyline, but it’s one we’ve allowed our teens to watch with us…with some strategic fast forwarding. The problem is, I always forget where those scenes start, and the cuts are seriously abrupt.

So, to help you out, I took notes this time! If you want to fast forward the Martin Freeman storyline, here’s when to grab the remote:

  1. (13:58) AFTER THE WEDDING CATERING SCENE. After this scene, it cuts to the pair on set, fully clothed, but in sexual positions. The lighting director asks Judy to take her shirt off and you see top nudity.
  2. (24:11) AFTER NATALIE BRINGS THE PRIME MINISTER BISCUITS IN HIS OFFICE. Hugh Grant has a meeting with his cabinet where he tells them he’s not going to be strong against the US President, then there’s a short scene where Natalie brings him tea and biscuits at his office. It immediately cuts from there to John & Judy, fully nude with her sitting on top of him in bed.
  3. (35:26) AFTER BILLY MACK TELLS KIDS NOT TO BUY DRUGS. Billy has just told don’t buy drugs, because “if you get famous they’ll give them to you for free” and Joe bangs his head against a monitor in frustration. It cuts from there to a gallery showing Mark’s photography, which features men’s buttocks and also breasts with Santa hats over the nipples. (This setting appears again at 1:04:16, for Harry’s office party, but the pictures are much less noticeable here…until around the 1:06 mark.)
  4. (48:26) No nudity here, but at this point Aurelia takes her clothes off and jumps in the lake to save Jamie’s novel in just her underwear.
  5. (1:10:16) WHILE SARAH AND KARL ARE AT HER HOUSE AFTER THE OFFICE PARTY. The two kiss and get in bed together, she takes the straps off her slip, and he’s in just underwear. When she reaches for her phone, you can see her breast.
  6. (1:20:54) AFTER COLIN TELLS HIS FRIEND HE’S LEAVING FOR THE USA. We have another super-abrupt scene change after Colin tells his friend he’s leaving for the US. He drops his backpack on the ground, and it cuts to John & Judy, who are fully nude with her on her knees in front of him…then again sitting on top of him.

This isn’t every sexual innuendo or moment in the movie, but it’s the nudity you may want to skip over for yourself or your kids. Bonus: it will cut about 20 minutes off this pretty long Christmas movie.

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