Motherhood Without the Mask: How to Build Your Own Damn Village

You’ve heard the saying:

“It takes a village.”

But in modern-day motherhood, it feels more like:

“It takes a village… but good luck finding one unless you can pay for childcare, meal prep, therapy, and a support group — all before 9 a.m.”

And so, most of us do what we were taught:
We muscle through.
We smile when we want to scream.
We wear the mask.

The “I’ve got this” mask.
The “I’m so lucky and grateful” mask.
The “I’m fine” mask.

Even when we’re completely not fine.

This blog is for every mom who’s tired of pretending.
Who doesn’t want to “soak it all in” anymore — she just wants a shower and someone to ask how she’s doing.

If that’s you?
Let’s talk about how to build your own damn village — one that actually supports the version of you who exists right now.

🤐 First, Drop the Mask

The biggest lie we’ve been sold is that we’re supposed to do this alone — and do it flawlessly.
We internalize this belief that if we need help, if we’re struggling, if we’re not smiling through the chaos, we’re somehow less than.

Here’s the truth:
You’re not failing because you’re tired.
You’re tired because you’ve been doing the work of 10 people — without backup, without breaks, and without being seen.

Removing the mask doesn’t mean being ungrateful.
It means being honest.

Honest about how heavy the mental load is.
Honest about missing your pre-mom self.
Honest about needing connection, not just coffee dates where everyone pretends everything’s fine.

🛠️ So… What Does a Village Even Look Like?

It’s not one-size-fits-all. And it won’t be delivered to your doorstep in a Prime box.

Your village might look like:

• A best friend you text “WTF” to 12 times a day

• A judgment-free group of moms who talk about real things — like rage, loss of identity, and hiding in the bathroom just to breathe

• A coach who helps you remember who you are underneath all the roles you play

• A partner you finally have an honest conversation with (after weeks of silent resentment and emotional whiplash)

• Or a community — like The Spilled Milk Collective — built for moms who are done pretending

🔍 Start With These 3 Things

1. Find Safe Spaces, Not Just Social Ones

The goal isn’t to be around other moms who look like they have it together.
The goal is to find women who are willing to tell the truth — so you don’t feel alone in yours.

That’s what I’ve built here. Coaching, workshops, and resources for moms who want to reconnect with themselves — not just survive.

2. Let Someone In Before You “Feel Better”

You don’t need to clean up your house, your body, or your mental state to deserve connection.
The real ones will love you messy.

3. Invest in You (Even If That’s Just 10 Minutes a Day)

Whether that’s journaling with the free prompts, joining a group coaching call, or downloading the Fck It Bucket* printable and tossing today’s guilt in it — you count too.
You’re not a machine. You’re a whole damn person. And you deserve the same care you give everyone else.

💛 What You’ll Find in This Village

The Spilled Milk Collective isn’t a mom group.
It’s a place to:

• Say the sh*t you can’t say anywhere else

• Get tools that don’t insult your intelligence or your exhaustion

• Be reminded that you’re still in there — even if you haven’t heard your own thoughts in weeks

We have:

• 🧠 Coaching (1:1 and group)

• 📓 Digital resources like journal prompts, sanity planners, and affirmations that actually speak to your experience

• 👯‍♀️ A growing community of moms who are done with the highlight reel

👏 Bottom Line?

You don’t have to wear the mask anymore.
You don’t have to wait for someone to hand you a village.
You can build your own — one honest conversation, one connection, one tiny reclaimed piece of yourself at a time.

And I’ll be right here to help you do it.

Because you were never meant to do this alone.
And you sure as hell don’t have to keep pretending you’re fine when you’re not.

Start here:
📥 [Grab your free journal prompts]
💬 [Check out coaching options]
👯‍♀️ [Join the Collective or reach out — you’re already in the right place]

We spill the milk here. We don’t clean it up. We hold it. Together.